<p>In episode 661 of Passion Struck, trauma psychologist <strong>Dr. Ingrid Clayton</strong> explains why so many high-achievers, caregivers, and leaders default to “keep the peace at any cost,” and how that pattern quietly erodes identity, boundaries, and well-being.</p><p>We unpack how complex/relational trauma encodes “safety over self,” why talk-only approaches often stall, and the practical sequence for unfawning: notice → name → normalize → <strong>lower the bar</strong> → practice tiny boundary reps. Ingrid shares bottom-up tools for down-shifting physiological threat (breath, orienting, somatic tracking), scripts for gentler boundaries that don’t spike panic, and ways to rebuild self-trust after years of self-abandonment—at home, at work, and in leadership.</p><p>If you’ve ever over-functioned at the office, shape-shifted in relationships, or felt invisible while doing “everything right,” this conversation gives you language for what’s been happening and a roadmap out of it.</p><p><strong>Visit this link for the full show notes</strong></p><p><strong>Go Deeper: The Ignited Life Substack</strong></p><p>If this episode stirred something in you, The Ignited Life is where the transformation continues. Each week, I share behind-the-scenes insights, science-backed tools, and personal reflections to help you turn intention into action.</p><p><a href="https://www.theignitedlife.net/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Subscribe</a>🔗  and get the companion resources delivered straight to your inbox.</p><p><strong>About Dr. Ingrid Clayton</strong></p><p>Ingrid Clayton, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and author whose work focuses on trauma, complex PTSD, and recovery. Her new book, <a href="https://amzn.to/4mOAJah" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">F<em>awning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find Our Way Back</em></a>, offers a step-by-step approach to healing the appease response and reclaiming your voice.</p><p>Catch more of Dr. Ingrid Clayton: <a href="https://www.ingridclayton.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.ingridclayton.com/</a></p><p>If you liked the show, please leave us a review—it only takes a moment and helps us reach more people! Don’t forget to include your Twitter or Instagram handle so we can thank you personally.</p><p>Get the full companion workbook at <a href="https://www.theignitedlife.net/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">TheIgnitedLife.net</a></p><p>Full episode on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMiles" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@JohnRMiles</a></p><p>Listen on Apple Podcasts, <a href="https://spotify.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Spotify</a>, or wherever you get your podcasts</p><p>Everyone deserves to feel valued and important. Show it by wearing it: <a href="https://startmattering.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://startmattering.com/</a></p><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>