<p>Have you ever stayed in a relationship just to avoid being alone?</p> <p>Did staying make you feel better or worse over time?</p> <p>Today, Jay sits down with writer and relationship coach Quinlan Walther to explore what it truly means to build healthy, lasting relationships. Quinlan, known for her viral reflections on love and self-trust, explains the difference between wanting a relationship and being ready for one. She compares it to grocery shopping when you’re hungry, a reminder that desperation often drives us to make poor emotional choices. Together, they explore how self-awareness, emotional safety, and self-trust form the foundation for a genuine connection. Quinlan introduces her “Four C’s of Self-Trust”: curiosity, capacity, compassion, and commitment, a framework for strengthening one’s relationship with the self before seeking partnership.</p> <p>Jay and Quinlan confront the hard truths about modern love, how expectations, attachment wounds, and emotional burnout often distort our perception of what love should feel like. They explore the difference between chemistry and compatibility, reminding listeners that while excitement can spark a connection, it’s shared values and emotional maturity that sustain it. Quinlan emphasizes that relationships are not meant to fill our emptiness but to reflect our growth. Through stories and practical wisdom, she explains how the healthiest relationships allow space for vulnerability, accountability, and change, rather than perfection. Jay reflects on his own marriage, highlighting how communication, patience, and self-reflection create emotional safety and deepen love over time.</p> <p>In his interview, you'll learn:</p> <p>How to Know If You’re Ready for Love</p> <p>How to Build Self-Trust Before Dating</p> <p>How to Create Emotional Safety in Relationships</p> <p>How to Tell Chemistry from Compatibility</p> <p>How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt</p> <p>How to Heal After a Breakup</p> <p>How to Stop Repeating Unhealthy Patterns</p> <p>How to Grow Together Without Losing Yourself</p> <p>Real connection isn’t about finding someone to fix or complete us, it’s about growing into the version of ourselves that can give and receive love freely. Every heartbreak, disappointment, and moment of self-reflection brings us closer to understanding that love begins within.</p> <p>With Love and Gratitude,</p> <p>Jay Shetty</p> <p><strong><em>Join over 750,000 people to receive my most transformative wisdom directly in your inbox every single week with my free newsletter. Subscribe </em></strong><a href="https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe"><strong><em>here</em></strong></a><strong><em>. </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! </em></strong><a href="https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast"><strong><em>https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast</em></strong></a><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong>What We Discuss:</strong></p> <p>00:00 Intro</p> <p>01:24 Wanting vs. Being Ready for Love</p> <p>04:07 The Four C’s of Self-Trust</p> <p>06:41 Relationships Should Help You Grow</p> <p>10:32 Building Stability and Emotional Safety</p> <p>13:27 When Requests Become Unreasonable</p> <p>15:15 Love Within Someone’s Capacity</p> <p>17:57 Are You Exhausted From Dating? </p> <p>22:05 Does the Spark Really Matter?</p> <p>23:28 When Attraction Misleads You</p> <p>25:16 Compatibility vs. Chemistry</p> <p>27:52 How Black-and-White Thinking Hurts Love</p> <p>31:10 Is Love Alone Ever Enough?</p> <p>32:43 What True Commitment Looks Like</p> <p>36:39 Learning to Show Up for Yourself</p> <p>39:35 Healing Family Wounds and Finding Peace</p> <p>42:19 Breaking the Criticism–Withdrawal Cycle</p> <p>49:31 Your Partner Reflects How You Love Yourself</p> <p>51:14 Dating is Discernment, Marriage is Devotion</p> <p>55:16 Real Change Takes Time</p> <p>58:10 Why Every Relationship Needs Boundaries</p> <p>59:47 How to Set Healthy Boundaries</p> <p>01:01:21 Stop Compromising Your Own Boundaries</p> <p>01:02:42 Are Soulmates Real?</p> <p>01:05:01 What Should Love Feel Like?</p> <p>01:08:59 Do You Want a Partner or a Spouse?</p> <p>01:13:11 How to Move On After a Breakup</p> <p>01:16:47 You Are Not Hard to Love</p> <p>01:19:32 The Lessons Hidden in a Heartbreak</p> <p>01:21:40 Quinlan on Final Five</p> <p><strong>Episode Resources:</strong></p> <p>Quinlan Walther | <a href="https://www.quinlanwalther.com/">Website</a></p> <p>Quinlan Walther | <a href="https://www.instagram.com/quinlanwalther">Instagram</a></p> <p>Quinlan Walther | <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@quinlanwalther">TikTok</a></p> <p>Quinlan Walther | <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@QuinlanWalther-d3u">YouTube</a></p><p>See <a href="https://omnystudio.com/listener">omnystudio.com/listener</a> for privacy information.</p>