<p>Ever feel disconnected from your partner… but not sure how to fix it?<br>You’re not alone. Between mismatched desire, mental load, body image struggles, and awkward communication, intimacy often becomes <i>one more thing</i> on your to-do list, instead of a source of connection.</p><p>In this episode, I’m joined by Vanessa and Xander Marin—licensed sex therapist and bestselling author duo behind <i>Sex Talks</i> and the <i>Pillow Talks</i> podcast. We’re breaking down the silent issues that show up in long-term relationships and how to reconnect (without relying on spontaneous desire or unrealistic expectations).</p><p>We’re talking about what’s <i>actually</i> behind low libido (hint: it’s not just hormones or sex drive), how to reduce the mental load so you can feel more connected, and why “scheduled sex” isn’t boring, it’s powerful. </p><p>Vanessa Marin is a licensed sex therapist with 20+ years of experience and Xander Marin is her husband, co-author, and brings the real-life partner perspective that makes these conversations feel refreshingly honest, relatable, and actionable.</p><p>We Also Discuss:</p><p>08:26 – Why we need to talk about sex way more openly<br>13:44 – The 5 conversations every couple should have about sex<br>18:32 – The truth about “how often” you should be having sex<br>26:23 – Why desire doesn’t just happen—and what to focus on instead<br>32:42 – How mental load kills intimacy (and what to do about it)<br>40:00 – The surprising link between body image and your sex life<br>47:12 – What the “bristle reaction” is—and how to fix it<br>54:04 – The most underrated forms of foreplay (hint: it’s not lingerie)</p><p>Thank You to Our Sponsors:</p><ul><li>Broads: Broads gives you structured, progressive training and a powerhouse community to keep you strong, consistent, and unstoppable. Join today at<a href="https://broads.app/"> broads.app</a> and use code PODCAST for 20% off your first month!</li><li>Legion: Use code Tara20 for 20% off your first order and double loyalty cash back any order after that when you shop at <a href="https://legionathletics.com/?gc_id=19900600790&h_ad_id=652719817160&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA2eKtBhDcARIsAEGTG43ShL0UruuaaybMbMkqiXyT2b8qXdJp2OGAlObNXmp1zfpdZVbcyJgaAl6kEALw_wcB">LegionAthletics.com</a></li></ul><p>Find more from Tara:<br><br> </p><p>Website: <a href="https://www.taralaferrara.com/" target="_blank">https://www.taralaferrara.com/</a></p><p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/taralaferrara/" target="_blank">@taralaferrara</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/broads.podcast/" target="_blank">@broads.podcast</a> <a href="https://www.instagram.com/broads.app/" target="_blank">@broads.app</a></p><p>Youtube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@TaraLaferrara" target="_blank">Tara LaFerrara</a><br>Tiktok: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=channel_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqblppVXVXWHp1Z0dqM0hVbEtLMHhnZ01CWWhxQXxBQ3Jtc0ttZTNzSnhMbVNra0p4QXRQN21lYzYweHdNN0hVTjdEaGJVU0F4ME1tS2JMZzV4bUh5OTg5OGlOcTVEaXNCenJLUmxkSmI3S3dNcHdidTBTSEpJTnk3T19TY1JkQzlQQXB4NUloS0dSdVRSbkVWZlBVbw&q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40taralaferrara%2F" target="_blank">@taralaferrara</a></p><p>Find more from</p><p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/vanessaandxander/" target="_blank">@vanessaandxander</a> <br>Website: <a href="https://vmtherapy.com/" target="_blank">https://vmtherapy.com/</a> <br>Youtube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@vanessaandxander" target="_blank">@vanessaandxander</a></p><p>Podcast: </p><p><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0o4XZnrl0ihC7IKVn63bjy" target="_blank">Pillow Talks</a></p>